Find your Place

I sat and looked helplessly at the screen. This platform had so many exciting features, but for me and my ADHD brain, it was just too much. I had joined this wonderful, shiny business group a couple of years earlier and I was desperate to achieve what they promised I could achieve, but I did not feel comfortable, or even able speak their language really. Also, everything was pink.

As some if you will already know, I woke up in January 2024 unable to see properly out of one eye. This led to months of high steroid therapy and rest while I got to grips with my new normal. The permanent vision loss was a symptom of an inflammatory condition, and everything was suddenly geared to preventing any further damage to my sight.

To say that the realisation of my health vulnerability changed my attitude, is an understatement. It took me a while, and I did try to work through the shock and deliver my developing groups, but soon I realised that all the extra things I wanted to achieve were not going to be possible.

I needed to rethink. In January 2025, having achieved much less than I had intended in 2024, with my health continuing to be an issue, I had an epiphany.

I was trying to be something I was not.

I was trying to fit into the wrong place.

This was not my failing, or theirs, it was simply not the place for me.

I needed to find my place.

Fast forward to earlier this week, and this is how I found myself holding back the tears, as I was pushed to really hone in on my motivation. I felt safe enough to express myself, even though it was hard.

(I have found my place!)

Monday morning is our check in the business support group that I have joined - this was where, as I sat bemoaning my lack of focus, the brilliant Sara Kedge asked me repeatedly “why are you doing what you're doing?”

 I floundered through many responses, until we hit the emotion..

"Because I know what it's like not to be heard, not to be seen, I don't want anyone else feeling like that."

I guess that's how I was feeling in all the other places too. I didn't need to feel like that here, and this immediately helped my strength and resolve return.

Why am I telling you all this?

The point of this blog post is not to give you a history of my health or my website, or even to big up Entrepreneuro Grow, though it deserves a lot of bigging up. It's to remind you that if you feel discomfort, or if you don't feel like you belong in a place, hard as it may be, maybe that place just isn't right for you.

Self reflection is important and can lead us to a far better understanding of ourselves and our interactions with others. It is always good to hold our hands up and take responsibility for our part of situations. Sometimes our part in situations is trying to be accepted by people or places that will simply never suit us. Especially if we were undiagnosed neurodivergent children, we will most likely have been told repeatedly that we were ones getting it wrong.

Is something holding you back? Is now the time to embrace your own particular personality, and find a place where you can be encouraged and accepted?

Since moving from the place I felt I should be, and having the strength (yes, it took a bit!) to move to the place I wanted it to be, I have a new sense of my own voice and clarity around the work I want to do. I can also trust my ability to do it. My energy is lifting as the fear disappears, and my focus is improving through the lens of support and recovery.

So I ask you – is there any place that you’re squeezing yourself into? Is there a mindset shift that will help you to achieve more of what you wish to? Square pegs and round holes should both have their place – but are you trying to be in the wrong one?  Remember – ask yourself HOW will you do that thing that you want to do, instead of berating yourself for not doing it in the way you feel you should. Allow yourself to look away from the “norm” and to an environment, or way, that suits you, in all your individual splendour!

If you aren’t sure how to get that clarity, here are some tips that might help:

1: Give yourself a little time. No sudden movements – but equally, a gentle deadline could help

2: Reflect : journaling and meditation are great for this. They are both brilliant ways to work through what is feeling uncomfortable and getting to the bones of that reason.

3: Ask advice and do research. If it’s a complex logistical issue, then there may be some really good information out there that will help you to make a decision. Force field analysis is great too – make a list of pros and cons , but score how important those things are to you. And good friends and colleagues are often very good at reflecting your own situation with a clarity that you wouldn’t have seen on your own.

4: Remember that if none of these ideas suit you, that's OK too! Find something that will help you in the way that suits you best :)